Loneliness and Discomfort, Moving Towards Relationship

loneliness-and-discomfort-moving-to-relationship

Today, many people are alone either by choice or circumstance. Given the way society and culture is today, with people constantly uprooting and moving from one place to another, it would be a lot easier if we could be just as happy alone as with other people. For most of us, though, being alone means being lonely. When we are lonely we often have feelings of discomfort around people we do not know. These feelings make it difficult to connect with others, when connection is the only real cure for loneliness. It may be possible to overcome feelings of discomfort, and improve the ability to reconnect with others through meditation. Continue reading

“Hey Bernie! Don’t take away my iWatch!”

i consume therefore I am

I wonder whether Bernie Sanders realizes that he is not really seeking the presidency — he is after the American soul. The soul of America is consumerism, and the fact that the top 1/10 of 1% owns as much as the bottom 90% is consistent with a culture in which consuming more and more material wealth is fundamental to who we are. He is rejecting who we are as a culture. How can he possibly win with that attitude? Continue reading

Number 11: The Loneliness Gene in the Digital Age

you need a friend

 

We evolved to have secure relationships with others. When these relationships are threatened, we are genetically programmed to feel the pain of loneliness. In the same way that the feelings of hunger or thirst tell us to find food and water, the feeling of loneliness tells us to find people to be with. The types of relationships we are used to today are not the same as when we were evolving, due in part to the qualities of the digital age. Loneliness is on the rise. We need new approaches to overcoming loneliness. Continue reading

In Facebook Nobody Can Hear You Cry

in-facebook-nobody-can-hear-you-cry

 

It is not news to anyone that the digital age has spawned an entirely new way of being lonely. In a 2013 TED talk, “Lethality of Loneliness,” loneliness expert John Cacioppo said that in the 80s twenty percent of the U.S. population was lonely at any given time. Now that number is forty percent. In the age of social media, the normal mechanisms for combating loneliness may be breaking down.

One effect of loneliness is depression. In the past, depressed people were visible. Their body language and facial expressions were seen. Their sadness touched our natural empathy and we could reach out and help.

Now, hidden away behind an avatar or emoticon, how does a lonely and depressed person signal the need for help? Given the terrible mental and physical effects of loneliness this is something we all need to think about.

What do you think?

(Graphic “In Facebook Nobody Can Hear You Cry,” by D.E. Hardesty; photo of the young woman in graphic copyrighted to alexander trinitatov/DollarPhoto.com)

Number 10: The Myth of the “One” – Building a Deep Intimate Relationship

older couple still in love  neil moralee

See photo attribution at end of article

The fantasy about the perfect “One,” waiting for each of us somewhere, makes for good romance novels. But, it is not real. Still, I think that for all of us there exists at last a tiny thought that there is One out there; there is an Ideal person. This idea can come between us and the people we are intimate with. Set against the perfection of the One, everybody falls a little short. However, if you learn to communicate with another person heart-to-heart and soul-to-soul, you can give up the fictional ideal and learn to experience the wonder of the person you are with. Continue reading

How to Be Happy – Video

 

How to Be Happy

This video teaches you how to be happier right now, so that you can start enjoying  better relationships, better health, more success and a longer life, all from learning how to be happier.  It shows you how you can be happier without anything else changing in your life.

The premise of this video is that happiness is natural to us. It is already inside of us waiting to be released. We only have to turn our attention to it. Like a light switch, we only have to learn to turn it on, and keep it turned on.

Real happiness does not depend on the circumstances of your life. You can be happier, right now, without anything changing in your life. If everything in your life is going great, you can be happy. If everything in your life is going wrong, you can be happy. Rich, poor, old, young, male, female, blue-collar, white-collar, pink-collar, no-collar, you can be happy.

Learning to be happy may be the most important thing we can do in life. It may even be the purpose in life. What psychologists have found is that compared to those who are not happy, happy people have better relationships and better health, they are more successful, and they live longer.

Children are born happy, and we expect see them playing and being happy. We do not expect so much happiness when we leave childhood. However, the power to be naturally happy that we knew as children is still there; it never left. This aim of this video is to help you find it again.

 

 

 

 

Number 9: Confronting the Fear of Happiness

Photo (c) Gstockphoto/Dollarphotoclub.com

Photo (c) Gstockphoto/Dollarphotoclub.com

Many of us fear being too happy. Some of us fear being happy, period! If you ask yourself why this is, you may say, “I am afraid of being too happy because I don’t want to be disappointed.” I have heard all kinds of answers to this question, but many seem to follow that rationale, including this big one dealing with relationships: “I am afraid he (she) is not the One.” Let me suggest a different reason why people fear happiness, and how you can confront this fear and let more happiness into your life. Continue reading